Peter: Welcome, Ace. Welcome, Banksie.
Banks: Hi, Peter, and how is everyone?
Ace: We're all alive and kicking, gentlemen!
Peter: Okay, what's cooking this week, guys?
Ace: The other day I was asked, who was the best coach Kaizer Chiefs ever had?
Peter: And?
Ace: Well, that's very difficult to say...but Banks and I can tell everyone who was the worst coach Kaizer Chiefs ever had.
Peter: From the stories you guys have told in the past, it's got to be the Brazilian, Orlando Cassares.
Banks: Ha, ha...we thought you'd say him, and I don't blame you. Anyone who remembers the past would say Cassares was the worst.
Ace: Man, this guy Cassares even got Dynamos, who had nine Springboks playing for them, relegated in his season with them.
Peter: That was the Dynamos that was based in Lenasia and owned by the flamboyant Ismael Pahad. Eventually he sold the club to the North, where Dynamos still is today.
Banks: Correct.
Ace: It was amazing that Kaizer even gave him the job as Kaizer Chiefs coach after he relegated Dynamos. But you know in those days, us South Africans thought that if you were Brazilian, then you had to be brilliant. Also, Cassares had a CV full of photos of him and Pele, and other great Brazilians. He basically conned Kaizer I think.
Banks: Ey, he was useless but he was not the worst. There was one so-called coach who was even worse. Nobody knows that story...very few people may. Only the players involved at the time. I don't think even Kaizer will remember the story, because he was in America playing soccer.
Ace: So was I, but Banksie told me the story...it's incredible!
Peter: You've got us all excited and waiting. Who is the worst coach Chiefs ever had and why does nobody know the story?
Banks: Peter, this is the first time the story will be told - ever. The Soccer-Laduma readers are hearing this unbelievable story from so long ago - first!
Ace: The reason why nobody really remembers the story is because it was one of the very few times that the great Ewert Nene made a mistake. If Ewert did something good, like spot a special player, he let everybody know about it. But, when he made a mistake, he made sure nobody knew it or spoke about it.
Peter: So this is about one of Ewert's mistakes.
Banks: And that's why it was kept so quiet.
Peter: Okay, tell us the story, what happened?
Banks: Ewert went to this garage in Newlands in Western Soweto. It was the only place that had parts for his big American car. While he was there, the mechanic, who was from England, discovered who Ewert was … you know the manager of Kaizer Chiefs. In those days, we didn't even have a coach. Us players were the coach.
Ace: Ha, ha...that's why our soccer was so entertaining.
Peter: Hey, maybe you have a good point there!
Banks: Anyway, the English mechanic starts telling Ewert that he knows all these famous English soccer players very well, that he is a top coach and that he could coach Kaizer Chiefs. You know in those days, we were impressed by anything foreign, especially if it was English or Brazilian. So Ewert was impressed by this guy... Plus, Ewert liked the idea of Chiefs being the first club to hire a foreign coach and a white foreigner at that.
Banks: Ja, Ewert was so keen to make history and do something different and new for Chiefs that he jumped at hiring the guy without first checking him out properly.
Peter: So Chiefs hired a mechanic as a coach. Well, if something is wrong, a mechanic can fix it.
Ace: Ha, ha...but Chiefs was a well-oiled machine, we didn't need fixing.
Banks: Can you imagine? The first white coach and the first foreign coach for Chiefs or any black team was a motor mechanic from England, who was working on the outskirts of Soweto...ha, ha.
Ace: Only Ewert could do it...ha, ha.
Peter: Incredible...and how was he?
Banks: Terrible. Ewert introduced him to us on the Tuesday and we were playing a match on the Saturday. For four days he made us run, run, run and do stupid exercises. Nothing with the ball. By the time the match came, we could hardly walk, let alone run. Yet despite this, we won 2-0.
Peter: What did Ewert and the mechanic say?
Banks: The mechanic never attended the game. Whites couldn't in those days without a permit. But when he found out the result, he thought his methods were working and the next Monday and Tuesday at training, he made us run and do physical exercise again non-stop.
Ace: Listen to what happened next...
Banks: Ja, I went to Ewert with some of the senior players and said, "Ewert, you brought the mechanic, let him train you not us." It didn't take a lot to convince Ewert because he could also see that the guy was useless. So he said, "Okay, the mechanic's days are over. Tomorrow we train ourselves again."
Peter: What did he tell the mechanic?
Banks: Ha, ha. You know Ewert was a lovely guy. He hated to tell people bad things and he avoided confrontation. So Ewert was scared to tell the mechanic that we didn't want his services anymore...ha, ha.
Peter: So, what did Ewert do?
Banks: Our training ground was opposite Kaizer's house in Phefeni, Soweto. That's where the mechanic used to arrive every afternoon to coach us. So rather than tell the mechanic he was fired … Ewert just changed our training ground, ha, ha. The next day we started training in Meadowlands. We trained in Meadowlands from that day until the end of the season, ha, ha.
Ace: Ha, ha. The day that Kaizer Chiefs ran away from their coach. Normally the supporters chase the coach away. Well, this coach chased us away, ha, ha.
Banks: Ha, ha. Can you imagine a team like Kaizer Chiefs hiding away from their coach! We heard that the mechanic arrived at Phefeni and found the field empty and he just sat there for two hours waiting for his team...
Ace: The poor mechanic was left without a team and he had to go back to his tools. Ewert never went to that garage again.
Banks: We used to tease Ewert all the time about his mechanic coach that the famous Kaizer Chiefs had to run and hide away from.
Peter: What a story - one of the best! And if the mechanic is still in South Africa, Chiefs are now training at Naturena, ha, ha.
Banks: Ha, ha. No, I'm sure he'll prefer to just take it easy these days...just like Ace and Sunday morning.
Ace: Right on, brother.
