Peter: Gentlemen, howzit?
Ace:Alive and kicking.
Banks:That's me also … alive and kicking.
Peter: So, what's on the agenda this week?
Ace: On the way here Banksie and I were laughing about the old days. You know how everyone used to react when we came back from playing soccer in America.
Banks:You know of course I never went to play in America but I must tell our younger Soccer-Laduma readers that lots and lots of our players went to play in the USA.
Ace:Too many to mention, but guys like myself, Jomo, Webster Lichaba, Andries Maseko and of course Kenneth 'The Horse' Mokgojoa all had long stints out there. But we all used to come back and play in the NPSL again during the American off-season.
Banks: We're forgetting that Kaizer was of course the first player to go and play in the States.
Ace:Oh yes … of course. Whenever we came back from America, we used to get given two weeks off before we started to play in South Africa again. You know to sort of have an off-season, a break, otherwise we would have been playing soccer non-stop all year round.
Banks: Hey man, the way those guys partied when they came back from America, they needed another rest...ha, ha.
Peter: Ha, ha.
Banks:But the story we actually want to tell involves Kenneth 'The Horse' Mokgojoa, the ex-Benoni United striker, who also had a brief spell at Kaizer Chiefs.
Peter: He was a brilliant striker in his day.
Ace:Yes. Very good, a natural finisher.
Banks: The thing is that when the guys returned from the USA, they always had the latest fashions, the latest hairdos, namely an Afro, as well as the latest cologne!
Ace: Ha, ha.
Banks:They used to come back like superstars. Can you imagine in those days … coming back from America? I mean everyone, especially the women, thought they were great.
Peter: Okay, so what's the story about Kenneth 'The Horse' Mokgojoa?
Banks: Kenny was handsome - very, very handsome. Now can you imagine … not only was he very handsome, he was also big and strong. The women loved him, they went crazy for him. On top of that he was a famous soccer star, so they went even crazier for him. Then he went to play in America and he came back with money and the best clothes so you can imagine … the women went beserk for him.
Ace:Ha, ha … It was his smile that got the ladies.
Banks:And of course Kenny didn't mind at all. In fact, he enjoyed it to the full and took advantage of the situation. He played the role well, if you know what I mean.
Peter: Looks like Kenny had a good time in those days!
Ace: Ja, ha, ha. But Kenny was also a nice guy, he didn't just have the looks - he was also a very nice guy. I remember he had this nice hair and all the ladies used to comment on it … ha, ha.
Banks:So this one evening Kenny, Ace and myself were at this party in a house and there were lots of chicks. Now guys like Kenny and Ace who had just come back from the USA and were looking fancy used to pinch the other guys' women. Obviously the other guys didn't like this and were very jealous and angry at guys like Ace and Kenny, you know famous footballers from the USA.
Ace: Ha, ha … it was fun …
Banks:That day Kenny was very naughty. Before he even went to the USA, he used to steal other men's women. Now that he'd been to the USA, he was uncontrollable. He looked so cool in his hippy clothes and his Afro with all his chains and scarves.
Ace:Ha, ha … Kenny and his clothes. He also had these big high-heeled shoes, you know platform shoes that made him like a giant … ha, ha.
Banks: Ace was wearing them as well! Anyway the next minute Kenny had these three women all surrounding him. Then he invited the three of them outside and it was obvious that all of them were under his spell. They were like putty in his hands - they were all over him.
Ace: But Banksie and I could see the group of guys who were with these girls earlier getting angry and talking amongst themselves. They were watching Kenny all the time. I could see these guys were making plans to assault Kenny.
Banks: So I went outside to tell Kenny to relax and bring the women back inside and to leave them. "No way," said Kenny. Then as I walked back inside to discuss the situation with Ace, the door burst open and these three guys rushed at Kenny with knives and all sorts of weapons …
Ace: All hell broke loose. But it was also funny because you know Kenny was 'The Horse' and he was a professional soccer player so he could run. The trouble was that he was wearing big bellbottoms and these high platform shoes so he couldn't run as fast as usual.
Banks:And these guys were running after him, we could just hear this plonk, plonk, plonk of his platform heels hitting the ground in the dark until it got further and further away.
Ace:After a while they came back. It was quite funny because they even said to Banks and myself, "That Mokgojoa is a real horse … we couldn't catch him even with his stupid American shoes!" Ha, ha.
Peter: Ha, ha … amazing.
Banks:It happened another time as well. Kenny was too good looking and confident with the ladies for his own good.
Ace:Yes, one day he was at my place, we were having a small party and he started talking to one of the other guy's girls. The girl was all over Kenny and kissing him on the neck …
Banks: Ha, ha.
Ace:This happened very quickly. I mean we all noticed at the same time. The next thing the boyfriend pulled out a knife and rushed at Kenny … in my house, can you believe it?
Peter: Hell …
Banks:Luckily Kenny was quick. Out of the corner of his eye, he must have seen the guy coming because he jumped up, sprinted outside and ran behind Ace's car! It became quite funny because the guy with the knife was chasing Kenny all round the car. They were going left, then right, then left again. It was scary but also funny.
Ace:Kenny was quick but when he saw the knife he was even quicker!
Peter: So what did you do, after all it was your house, Ace?
Ace: I had to get in the middle and intervene. I stopped the guy with the knife and took it away from him. After that, I sent him and his girlfriend home, ha, ha.
Banks: Ja, and then Kenny, Ace and myself had a very good laugh about it … Oh, Kenny, he was a ladies man all right. He's assisting coaching the U23s these days … keeping out of trouble I hope!
Peter: Well, hopefully now he's just like Sunday morning …
Ace Banks:Yes, Kenny, take it easy … just like Sunday morning.
