Welcome back, Tyren. Well, we promised that we will be taking things a notch higher this week, so let's get straight into it.
You know, we are now reminded of a story that your former teammate Romano Scott told us in his Still In Touch, published in the 1 December 2021 edition of Soccer Laduma. It's a bit of a sensitive story, so fasten your seatbelt…
Oh my goodness, I wonder what it's about.
We'll have to quote him verbatim as we at Soccer Laduma are all about transparency and honesty. So, this is what he had to say: "The other funny incident I remember happened with a former teammate of mine at Santos. Unfortunately, I cannot mention his name because, you know, we were all sworn to secrecy. We were playing an away game, but he didn't have his "away kit" with him (for the players' post-match gathering), so he borrowed someone's Guess jeans, but he got so wasted that he actually did a number two in the jeans, ha, ha, ha. He lost control of his bowels and his body functions, let's put it that way. We heard about how bad this was the next morning and he had to buy the same set of jeans or something to return to Tyren Arendse. I'm not going to give you the name because the guy will phone me and kill me. Yho, that was another level! He was so blacked out and lost control of all bodily functions. He basically caused a disaster in the Guess jeans, ha, ha, ha, and had to buy the exact same one. He borrowed someone's jeans to go and do that because he didn't have an away kit to get into the nightclub. Everybody reminded him about that and we obviously had a nickname for him. It was rude of the guys, but they had a nickname for him that rhymed with his name and which made reference to the situation."
Ha, ha, ha! Well, I can't really comment on that. Like you said, it's a bit of a sensitive one. The only thing I can say is that at least he gave me money so I could buy a new one.
Judging by Romano's assessment of the situation, that the poor teammate "caused a disaster in the Guess jeans", it's safe to say the man scored an own goal that night.
Ja, a definite own goal, ha, ha, ha…
Let's swiftly move right along. Would you say at Santos is where you really enjoyed your time the most, all things considered?
Hmmm, I think, you know, because I had a lot of success at Santos, that was obviously the club that gave me an opportunity to play, I enjoyed it there. But I would say, with the three teams that I played for, I enjoyed myself (at each one of them) for different reasons. Like I said, at Santos I was successful. When I went to (Mamelodi) Sundowns, I was maybe playing and training with the best players in the country and I learnt so much from those players. Training with them every day, it made me a better player and it made me a better person, and I think that helped a lot because if I look back, after being at Sundowns, I most probably played in every position, except goalkeeper. Me being at (Orlando) Pirates, I think this is most probably where I had the best time in terms of football. It made me realize with the Pirates supporters, with the way Irvin Khoza runs the club, being one of the biggest clubs in Africa, it really showed me what it is to be a professional footballer. I mean, when I went to Pirates, I couldn't… at Santos, people knew me, but not so much because when it comes to Cape Town people and supporting local teams, it's just here and there. But when I went to Jo'burg and I went to Pirates, I felt it what it means to be a professional footballer because wherever I went, people used to recognize me, they just wanted to talk to you. That's when I realized that for Pirates supporters, supporting the team is like a religion. They will do everything for the team, they will give whatever for the team. That's why at times you would see the players get so emotional when they played. Just the support from the Pirates supporters, that made me feel special. I couldn't go anywhere, you know. I couldn't just do whatever I wanted to do because there will always be someone that recognized me and wanted to speak to me. It's something I appreciated and something I enjoyed at the time. So, I would say at Pirates I, sort of, had the best time in terms of (learning) what it is to be a professional footballer. But like I said, at Sundowns at Santos, also for different reasons I enjoyed my time.
We get you. Talk to us about some of the funny guys you played with…
Yho, there was a few during my time. I think at Santos, it used to be Jonathan Solomons. Like I told you previously, he also used to be my roommate at the time, and there was also David Mabeta. He was also quite funny. When I moved to Pirates, ey, there was a lot of them hey. If it wasn't "Cheeseboy" (Lebohang Mokoena) and the late Gift Leremi catching on nonsense, you would find a guy like Lelo Mbele. (Onyekachi) Okonkwo was also a funny character. I used to share a room with him. But there was a lot of them. I think that's what made it so exciting and enjoyable to be part of a team. Sometimes people ask me, "What do you miss most about playing professional football?" and I normally tell them, "I don't miss playing football, I miss coming into the dressing room in the morning, (finding) guys talking or making fun of one another, all the jokes. Just that, being together in the company of the players." Even the kit managers. I think the kit managers actually play an important role in a team because sometimes you find they are the ones that keep the team, the dressing room, going. Before the game starts, you find them singing or making fun and jokes and all those things. At Santos, Monde Magadla was the kit manager, quite the character. Even at Pirates and Sundowns, kit managers were the guys that were quite funny. So, ja, I don't miss the playing part, at times we miss that togetherness with the players. Even in the morning before training, when we sit and are putting the kit on, that 15, 20 minutes when you're sitting there and talking and making fun of each other, it was nice moments for me.
Yeah, in football you also get to meet guys from different backgrounds, speaking different languages, and you have to find a way of fitting in.
And it's so funny, you know… When I left for Jo'burg, even when I was in Cape Town, because I grew up Afrikaans-speaking and I even went to an Afrikaans school, I understood English but I couldn't speak English. The only time I spoke English… you know when you are at school and you have English as a subject, that's the only time I, sort of, tried to speak English. The funny thing is that during my first season, I scored my first goal against an Eastern Cape team that is now no more…
That must be Bush Bucks.
Yes, Bush Bucks. After the game, I had to do an interview… but I was so happy they didn't play that interview because I was terrible when doing that interview. I struggled speaking English. Most probably the guy who was doing the interview thought to himself, "No, man, I'm not going to embarrass this young boy by playing this interview because he was struggling to speak English." Ha, ha, ha. Luckily for me, they never showed the interview and I was happy! Only as time went by, I started… because you had to speak English as there were a lot of guys from other African countries that were in the team. So, I basically learnt to speak English while I started playing football. Going to Jo'burg also, the guys speak different languages. But you know what, the more you are with the guys, it becomes easier for you to understand because although I couldn't speak Zulu or Sotho or Xhosa, sometimes when I sat in on a conversation, I could understand what they were talking about. The more I spent time with them, it was easy for me to even interact with them even though I was speaking English.
So you mean to tell us you were a young "Goodenough Sithole" – may his soul rest in peace – long before we came to know about the man?
Ha, ha, ha!
STILL IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
First paycheque: R750
Biggest bonus: R25 000
Opponent you respected the most: Brett Evans
Team you would have loved to play for: Kaizer Chiefs
Favourite PSL player right now: Themba Zwane
Best coach played under: Clive Barker
Craziest request from a fan: None, only jersey requests really
