Legend, let's finish this off with a bang! Who was the king of the banter in the change room during your Bush Bucks days?
I can't leave Cyril (Nzama) out, ha, ha, ha. In fact, before he arrived, I was staying all alone at a certain house and I told the club that I didn't want to stay with anyone because ndandingumntan' eskolo (I was a student). I had to study in the evenings, so I couldn't stay in the clubhouse with the other players since there would be so much noise at times. That's when they placed me at this one house, which had a free room. When Cyril came, he didn't have a place to stay, and after seeing what a nice guy he was at training, I said, "This one can come stay with me." Even when it came to camping, I always chose him as my roommate. We hit it off from there. We always used to drive down using two club kombis when going to play in Bloemfontein or Durban, and only really flew when going to Cape Town or Johannesburg. If you tried separating the two of us by having one of us in the one kombi and the other in the other kombi, then there was going to be big trouble, ha, ha, ha. The interesting thing is that all the guys would want to be in the same kombi with us because it was entertainment all the way. When we arrived at the hotel, Cyril would take the key at reception and we would proceed to our room. Never ever make the mistake of separating us. The club did try to separate us at some stage, but they were obviously fighting a losing battle. Even Trott (Moloto) tried it but didn't win.
Now let's get to the funny stories.
Ha, ha, ha! Ufuna ndikuxelele iimfihlelo zamajita (You want me to tell you the guys' secrets). There was a guy named Abram Lethebe, you might remember him. He was our defender. I was that type of person who never liked being out late at night. The only reason I used to go out at night was to just check out the nightlife and see for myself the stuff that led to the downfall of so many players, as we read about these things in the newspapers. I wanted to find out if it was true that someone's career could be ended by such things. I soon discovered that these were true stories, because someone will go out to a nightclub, only to be used by girls there. For example, a player will be buying drinks for a woman and her friends at the nightclub, and when it was time for the player to go home with the woman as per their agreement, you would find her on the phone, and then a little later her boyfriend will come to pick her up. Uyayibona? Seyehluthi butywala bakho nemali yakho (You see? Now she's so full of your alcohol and your money). I used to ask my teammates, "Can't you see that you are being used by these women? You will end up being penniless because of this." Indeed, I would end up having to lend them money as they spent their salaries at these nightclubs. So, to answer your question, a guy who became clever but at a later stage of the night, is Lethebe. We were in Durban, I think. While we were at this nightclub, the guys wanted to attract the attention of a certain group of ladies. Lethebe went out to withdraw money and then put it in his wallet. It was a handsome amount, about R3 000 to R4 000.
Geez!
So, whenever he went to the counter to buy some beers, he would whip out his wallet and take out a R100 note. These ladies saw this stash of cash and immediately positioned themselves around him like a swarm of bees. When he saw the trick was working, he then went out to deposit that money at a nearby ATM. When he came back, they thought he still had it in his possession, ha, ha, ha. What a clever guy! I couldn't stop laughing when I realised what was happening. We used to call him "Shados", so I kept on winking at him and saying, "Okay Shados!" and then he would respond, "Okay Shados!" I was like, "Kunini sadlalwa ngamantombi. Khawubadlale nawe Shados, ukhe ulwele abany'aba (For a long time we've been played by girls. Play them, Shados, and do it on behalf of the other gents)." Ha, ha, ha, I turned to the guys and said, "Mongi (Rula), (Mongezi) Malashe, nants' ingqawa yam. Inimele le (here's my main man. This one is representing you guys)." Imagine spending R1 000 in a single night buying drinks for a lady and her friends, and then her boyfriend comes to pick her up. She will obviously say, "Here's my boyfriend. He just came unannounced." Lies! She knew all along that he would be coming.
So, how did the story end after the wallet was emptied?
Hayi kaloku (Of course), "Shados" ended the night on a winning note because apparently he had all the money in the world. He just gave the girl transport money in the morning, finish and klaar. I was like, "Well done, Shados!" What I liked about Sturu (Pasiya), the club boss, is that he would tell us, "After match, the club's (hired) cars are all yours. You can drive them to anywhere you want, just don't cause accidents and please return them tomorrow. You can come back with whoever you come back with (from the nightclub), but please take the car tomorrow morning and drive them home. Thereafter the club needs to return the cars to the airport." Whether we lost or won, he never changed his stance. So, my teammates used to ask me to drive them around, but I soon got irritated because you would get to the nightclub at 23h00 and then by 02h00, umntu usancwasile (a guy is still proposing). He first has to get tipsy before having the confidence to approach a woman. I used to tell them, "Andiphinde ndihambe nani mna. Nibuthuntu gqithi maan. Ziqhubeleni (I'm never going with you again. You're way too blunt for my liking. Drive yourselves)." I mean, if you arrive at such a place at 22h00, by midnight you should have the deal signed, sealed and ready to be delivered. Just take your alcohol and finish drinking at the hotel with your new companion. I even went to the extent of telling them, "Ni dom maan, nx (You are stupid man)! They say people who play football are dom, and they are referring to people like you." Ha, ha, ha.
You also played with Innocent Mayoyo, right?
Yes, he was already at the club when I joined. There was one incident where I targeted him for a fight.
Haybo! Ha, ha, ha. Why?
Abantu base Goli bayathanda uzicingela gqithi (People from Jo'burg often think highly of themselves). I wanted to beat him up, but I think the presence of his girlfriend helped his cause. We went to play in Jo'burg, and after the game the players went out. Several guys came back victorious, so to speak. Since I was not drinking or smoking, I was the lonely one on this trip. This girl that was with Mayoyo then suddenly blurted, "Nihamba ne mo**** na apha, ayiseli ayitshayi (So you're with a gay here, he's not drinking or smoking?" Of course I was a little taken aback by this comment because, after all, not drinking or smoking was my decision. Mayoyo was driving and I asked him to stop the car. He thought I was going to pee on the side of the road. I got out of the car, ndaqonda, 'Igagene (and I was like, 'It's about to go down)!' I confronted the woman, telling her I was not happy about what she had just said. She was not willing to back off, presumably because she was already in an intoxicated state at that stage, so things quickly escalated and the guys had to intervene because there was no way I was going to let her disrespect me like that. I asked her, "How does me not drinking or smoking affect you? Nonsense! Just drink your alcohol with the men you are with and shut your mouth about me. Mayoyo, drive off!" He drove off without saying a word. You can ask Malashe, he remembers the story like it happened yesterday. He sometimes brings it up, saying I had this big fight with Mayoyo's girlfriend, ha, ha, ha. I tell him, "Andiyo ndawo yokunxilela (I'm not a drunkards' paradise)."
So, Mayoyo didn't say anything?
Cwaka futhi (Dead quiet)! I was like, "I just want him to side with this girl of his, I'm going to beat the hell out of him. They have this tendency of saying we're from the farms. Why is he coming to play football in the farms?" After that, it was dead quiet in the car… even the Malashes of this world didn't utter a word. I usually say to people that I don't have a problem with alcohol, I have a problem with the behaviour when you've consumed it. When I was playing for Mother City, there was a boy named Solly Phetla. He is late now. That boy was so disciplined. He was playing for Hellenic, but when it was time to go to nightclubs, I knew Phetla would travel in my car, together with Silumko James who is also now late, and Mimi Radebe, also late. I loved these three boys' company because they controlled their behaviour when drunk. Even they would say, "Ta Nogwaza, sicela uhamba nawe (can we please go with you)." You'd never see them bothering anyone. Phetla would just dance and when he'd had enough, he'd ask for the car keys so he could go and sleep in the car. James would first have a meal before drinking, which is why you'd never see him ebuthwa phantsi (falling all over the place).
It's been real, Mr Nogwaza. Thank you so much for reliving those good old days with us over the last few weeks.
Enkosi (Thanks), Lungas. By the way, I don't want to die without writing a book about my life.
By Lunga Adam
STILL IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
First paycheque: R2 500
Biggest bonus: R4 000
Opponent I respected the most: Neil Tovey
Team I'd have loved to play for: Kaizer Chiefs Orlando Pirates
Favourite PSL player right now: Zakhele Lepasa, Relebohile Mofokeng Ashley Du Preez
Best coach I played under: Trott Moloto
Craziest request from a fan: None
