So, you are back for a second round, having left us in stitches last week. Let's keep going, brother.
You know when we are in camp, there is a lot that happens. You will see and hear a lot of things, ha, ha, ha. There is a player of ours who plays left back, Morgan Mokgalaka. I haven't told him this story. He was sleeping and then the next thing I started hearing him talking in his sleep.
Hmmm, 'sleep-talking'. Could you make out what he was saying?
He was talking about a girl.
Soccer players! It just had to be a girl, ha, ha, ha!
I haven't told him this story. You are the first person I'm sharing this with, ha, ha, ha. He was like, "Baby, o ska dia so (don't do that)." Maybe that girl was hurting him. Then he would keep quiet for about 10 minutes. Thereafter, you would hear him speaking again, ha, ha, ha. This was happening while we were in camp. Maybe sometimes when I am sleeping, I talk too. I kept calling him, saying, "Morgan! Morgan!", but he didn't wake up. When we have these long camps, then there is a lot that you will see, ha, ha, ha.
…and hear, ha, ha, ha. But surely, we all talk in our sleep now and again. Okay then, that just whets our appetite. What more do you have?
There was a time when I was at Black Leopards, and I think we were playing against SuperSport United. So, Djunga Munganga and I were sitting next to each other in the dressing room. When we came back from our warm-up, we were meant to put on our matchday jerseys. The funny thing is that I wore Munganga's jersey and he wore mine. We did not see that we were wearing the wrong jerseys and we ended up going onto the pitch with them. We played for about 10 minutes and then the people on the bench communicated with the referee to stop the game for a bit because we were wearing the wrong jerseys. I was wearing his and he was wearing mine, and no one noticed for about 10 minutes. Can you imagine?
That's crazy. How is that even possible because when you get onto the pitch, the players are in a line?
We went on the pitch in a line and no one noticed it. Morgan Shivambu was the assistant coach, and he was the one who noticed that we were wearing the wrong jerseys. Ten minutes is a long time in a game, so you can imagine how much we were sweating at that point, and we had to exchange jerseys.
Eish…
That was crazy, I tell you. Another crazy character I played with was Lefa Hlongwane at Leopards. He is at Baroka FC now. We call him "Jokes". What a problematic person, ha, ha, ha. That guy can never finish the week with his entire kit. He will ask for socks from the guys.
What does he do with his kit?
At Leopards, they will give you your entire kit, and then they give you instructions on what kit to wear on which days for that week. But if you are not focused, you will end up wearing the wrong kit. He would wear green when we were supposed to wear white, ha, ha, ha. That guy is a character. Another thing about him is that he never washed his kit, ha, ha, ha. His kit would smell so much. Then you would hear him say, "The smell does not play football." Ha, ha, ha.
True, isn't it?
You can tell him that, "My man, today you stink." Even if you put on some cologne, it does not help. It actually makes it worse, ha, ha, ha. That guy is a special character.
Ha, ha, ha. Imagine cologne making things worse.
We had a goalkeeper at Leopards named (Jonas) Mendes. So, as in-field players, we would wear white and then the goalkeepers would have a different kit. Mendes had a white kit in his car, so I asked him to borrow Lefa the kit. Lefa lost Mendes' kit.
What!?
Then Mendes came to me, and he was like, "You see this young boy? You said I must give him the kit. Where is my kit now?"
Now you were in trouble because you brokered this deal…
Yes. He lost the kit. So, Lefa could train and then if he got into someone's car after training, he would leave his training kit there. Then if that person went to the car wash and the kit got stolen, there was nothing that could be done. We did not find that kit. I had to go speak to our kit manager and give him R100 so that he could organise a new kit. Lefa was definitely a character. He could walk into training and see that all the guys were wearing an orange kit and he was wearing white, ha, ha, ha. Eish, that guy…
That's "Sdumo" for you. What a character.
When he buys a new phone, it does not last for a long time. It won't last a month. I have saved so many of his numbers on my phone. He can buy an iPhone and then within two weeks it has cracked. He is careless, ha, ha, ha.
Mendes can attest to his carelessness, that one we're sure about. Thank you so much for your time, Fish. We can hardly wait to hear what you have in store up next.
Ha, ha, ha. I look forward to sharing a few more stories next week.
By Tshepang Mailwane
IN TOUCH FUN FACTS
Nickname: Fish
Marital status: Single
Car: Polo R-Line
Boots: Puma/Nike
Favourite teammate: Khuliso Mudau
Favourite roommate: Khuliso Mudau
Favourite food: Traditional food
Best friend in football: Khuliso Mudau
