Hey, Soccer-Laduma readers, last week Andries Maseko joined us. This week it’s another Maseko - former Kaizer Chiefs defender, Steve Maseko, joining the gang. Steve’s got a really great story for us about what happened when he tried to teach Ace to speak Zulu. Being a good student, Ace wanted to practice his new language skills but he landed up getting into trouble with a hostel dweller who thought Ace was after his wife. This guy was so furious that he wanted to beat Ace up! What did Ace say to the guy to make him so mad? Let’s find out!
Peter: Ace and Banks, welcome gents, and who’s the guest today?
Ace: Alive and kicking, Peter.
Banks: And we have with us today our defender from yesteryear, Steve Maseko.
Peter: Hey, Steve, howzit, man?
Steve: Peter, it’s great to be with you, but let me warn Banksie and Ace. Today is going to be the first of a few stories that us other oldies have about the two of them. The joke’s on them this time!
Ace: Take it easy, Steve.
Banks: Yes, otherwise we won’t interview you again … ha, ha, only kidding.
Peter: Take no notice of those two, Steve, you have the stage. Let us all into another story from our soccer past.
Steve: Man, this was in 1981 just after we had played in the Mainstay Cup Final against Orlando Pirates.
Banks: Ja, we won 1-0.
Steve: Anyway, we were all in the presidential suite at Ellis Park after the game celebrating. But we were taking it easy there... You know why, Peter?
Peter: No, why?
Steve: Because our motto was ‘No party in front of the directors’. We had a few drinks but nothing serious.
Banks: That would come later.
Ace: You know, in front of the directors and the sponsors, things were reserved, respectful. But, as usual with young soccer players, we also needed to relax. You know to get rid of the tension and to really celebrate a trophy.
Steve: Hey, it’s my story...so this is how it goes. I told Ace and Banks about a party at Busi’s place in Mzimhlophe.
Ace: Mzimhlophe. It’s in Orlando West, Ryder Mofokeng territory.
Steve: Ace was driving the car and Banks was in the passenger seat.
Banks: As usual.
Steve: And I was in the backseat, giving the directions. Only I didn’t know the directions exactly, so we were getting a bit lost.
Peter: Trouble ahead I’m sure.
Steve: Of course, especially when it comes to these two.
Ace: Ha, ha.
Banks: Ey, Steve, man.
Steve: But most important, I was teaching Ace and Banks to speak Zulu and they were teaching me Sotho. Now we were in Mzimhlophe when we got lost and we stopped right next to a hostel.
Banks: Ja, and mostly Zulus were staying in the hostel.
Steve: So Ace stops the car next to a big Zulu guy standing by the side of the road and decides to ask him for directions. Ace leans out of the car window and asks this big guy in Zulu, “Ukuphi uBusi wami?’
Banks: Ha, ha.
Ace: Hey, man, it wasn’t funny at the time.
Steve: Ja, Ace was meaning to say in Zulu, “Kukuphi kwaBusi?”(Where is Busi’s place?) But because Ace’s Zulu was so bad, he landed up saying, “Where’s my Busi?” Unfortunately for Ace, the name of the Zulu guy’s wife was Busi!
Peter: No way...oh no!
Steve: Ja, so the big Zulu shouted, “What! What do you want with my wife?”
Steve: Ace looked confused and repeated innocently in Zulu, “Ukuphi uBusiwami?” He still thought he was asking for directions to Busi’s place where the party was being held.
Banks: Man, then the Zulu guy just exploded.
Ace: Hell, man, he stuck that big kierie in my face and shouted, “Hey, man, you want my wife? Well, now you are going to die! I’ll kill all of you now. Now you die for nothing.”
Banks: Man, both Ace and I wanted to disappear into our seats. This guy was furious!
Peter: So what happened?
Steve: I had to save them. I said to the guy in Zulu, “No, man, this is Ace and Banks of Kaizer Chiefs. I’m Steve Maseko, also of Kaizer Chiefs. They don’t speak Zulu, I’m teaching them. This is a misunderstanding. We’re on our way to a party at Busi’s place. They are not talking about your wife and they are sorry for upsetting you.
Peter: And how did the big Zulu guy react when he realised who you guys were and that it was all a language misunderstanding?
Ace: He said, “Ace and Madala Banks, sorry for scaring you.” Then he looked at Steve and said, “Hey, Steve, you must teach these guys faster and better before all three of you get into big trouble one day!”
Banks: Ha, ha.
Ace: Man, it was scary at the time.
Peter: So, Steve, if it hadn’t been for you, that would have been the end of Banks and Ace’s soccer career.
Steve: Ha, ha. Ja, probably.
Peter: Well, I am sure that you guys made up for the scare by enjoying the party.
Steve: Hey, for sure.
Peter. Steve, great story and let’s hear from you again. Get Banks and Ace to bring you in again some time.
Steve: That will be great. Ja, I’d love to, especially because I have a few more stories.
Peter: Good and till next week.
Ace: Take it easy …
Banks: Just like …
Steve: Sunday morning … beautiful.