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How Milk Caused Trouble For Banks

Friends may fight, but good friends make up. All is forgiven and forgotten. This is a story about how Milk caused problems between Banks and Ace. Buick was part of the trouble too. Milk was a car and Buick was a player. Sound confusing? Carry on reading…


Peter: The men … looking good.

Ace: Hey, Peter, for sure, bra. 

Banks: Alive and kicking, my man.

Peter: Talk to us. What’s it all about this week? 

Banks: Aish, this week we have a story about the time I had to get heavy. You know, discipline Ace. 

Peter: Discipline Ace!

Banks: Well, not really discipline, but get my own back on Ace and his buddy Buick Makwathi.

Peter: Ha, ha, Buick, the famous right foot only Kaizer Chiefs defender.

Ace: Yes, remember that story from just a few weeks ago …

Banks: Yes …

Peter: Okay, so what happened? Let’s hear it, sounds like a beauty.

Ace: Ha, ha … it is …

Banks: The older Soccer Laduma readers will appreciate this and the younger Soccer Laduma readers must understand that in our day when we were young, you know in our early twenties, cars were not plentiful among us. We couldn’t afford cars. Only the gangsters, the businessmen and some of the rich Doctors and Lawyers, very few soccer players had cars. 

Ace: Ja … only Ewert, Kaizer and some of the other officials and some of the rich supporters had cars. 

Banks: But one day Ace managed to save enough money to buy himself a car …

Ace: Hey, man, it was a beauty … a pure white valiant.

Peter: Valiants were big in the ‘60s and early ‘70s, a real luxury car … an American dream.

Banks: That’s it.

Ace: And, man, mine was pure white … it looked wonderful and it was my first car. It was love at first sight. I was the man … I felt like a millionaire … you can just imagine. Now I had wheels … I had transport. 

Banks: And the women would love it.

Ace: We named my valiant ‘Milk’.

Peter: Ha, ha … nice.

Banks: We were playing a game on the Sunday and we were going to camp on the Saturday so on the Friday we arranged that Ace and Buick would come pick me up in ‘Milk’ and we’d go see a few of my girlfriends.

Ace: Ha, ha …

Banks: You can laugh now, Ace … but then it was different. Imagine, I had phoned three girlfriends and told them I was coming to visit in a beautiful new white valiant. I told them that now I had access to a car … they were very impressed and excited. 

Ace: Ey!

Banks: Man, I got myself ready for a big night on the town! I had a long, hot bath, and put on my best aftershave and my best suit. I was ready for my girlfriends and waiting for Ace and Buick to pick me up in ‘Milk’, Ace’s fancy new valiant …

Peter: You were waiting for Ace, a valiant and a Buick. Ace and two cars!

Ace: Ha, ha … ja … double transport.

Banks: More like double trouble because Ace broke his promise. He, Buick and Milk never arrived. I waited the whole night, in my best suit and smelling good, for those two to arrive. I was furious! Hell, I was angry. My girlfriends thought I was useless … aish. 

Ace: Ha, ha. Man, things came up. Buick and I met these two girls, you know, and time just disappeared.

Banks: The next day we all arrived at camp. I wasn’t talking to Ace and Buick. I had to get my own lift there … and those two arrived in Ace’s valiant.

Ace: Ha, ha … ja. Banksie wouldn’t even look at us so we couldn’t say sorry. The trouble is, you know at camp things can get boring and I had transport, so I said to Buick, “Let’s go for a drive.”

Banks: Remem-ber, we had a game the next day.

Ace: Ja well, so I said, “Buick … let’s take a drive in Milk.” We went to Meadowlands to a friend of ours’ shebeen. We hit two nice ones, the next two tasted even nicer and before we knew it, a dozen beers had passed our lips.

Peter: Ha, ha …

Ace: By now it was after midnight. When we got back to the hotel, Eddie Lewis and the officials told us to, “Go home …” but in stronger terms … 

Banks: Actually, Eddie came to me and said, “Banksie, you are captain and these two are your friends and teammates, what should we do?” I said, “No, Eddie, they must go, they are out of order.”

Ace: Buick and I left our kit at the hotel and drove home. We actually thought that by the next morning they would have forgiven us. We 
even arrived for breakfast the next day. They let us eat breakfast and then Eddie, the officials, and Banksie came and said, “Okay, now you guys can go back home again. You are not needed.”

Banks: Ha, ha. Serves them right for leaving me in the lurch that evening and for drinking before a game!

Peter: Ey, Banksie, you’re right!

Ace: At the time Buick and I were also angry about being sent home. In the car we were saying, “Okay, that’s us finished with Kaizer Chiefs. We won’t play for them again.” But the next week all was forgiven, although we did get a verbal warning from the management.

Banks: Then I gave Ace and Buick my own verbal warning. I told them that we were a trio and how could they do that to me. Eventually all was forgiven and we were back to normal.

Ace: Ha, ha … unfortunately too much back to normal, because there was a sting in the tail.

Banks: Ja, I had just said, “This car, Milk, has caused problems for us.” And the next day someone stole Milk. Ha, ha, Milk the valiant, our transport was gone and it was back to us trying to find transport here and there as usual. Ha, ha. 

Ace: I wasn’t insured or anything. The cops found nothing. So I was also out of pocket big time! 

Peter: Milk turned sour!

Ace: Ha, ha … ja.

Banks: Ja, those were the days, my friend. You know, Buick told me when we did the story about him a few weeks ago that the whole of Meadowlands was in his house talking and joking about the story with him. I told him, “Hey, Buick, take it easy, man.” 

Ace: Just like Sunday morning … cheers, guys.


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