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Booze, Women, and Knives

Yes, Soccer Laduma readers, Banks and Ace have one of those stories for you this week. You know, those stories where one thing leads to another, things get out of hand … and all hell breaks loose. Where there’s partying, drinking and women … there’s already the smell of danger in the air. Add a little bit of jealousy, and it’s like throwing oil onto an already blazing fire - deadly!


Peter: Gentlemen, welcome.

Ace: Cool and howdy, Peter.

Banks: Alive and kicking.


Peter: And what’s on the menu today, guys? 

Banks: Ha, ha. It’s a surprise story. You know everyone thinks that Ace is the quiet one...someone who will never lose his temper or get angry and do something crazy.


Peter: Yes.

Banks: Well, this story is about the day Ace lost his cool completely.

Ace: Hey, no way!

Banks: You did, Ace.

Ace: When? When was this? 

Banks: Wait, I am going to tell everyone - all the Soccer-Laduma readers...then you’ll remember.


Peter: Come on, Banksie, let’s hear about the time Ace got crazy...ha, ha.

Ace: Aish.

Banks: Ha, was towards the end of the season. You know us Chiefs players were very good friends with all the top musicians and actors at the time. In those days, Gibson Kente and his cast used to come to our games and we used to watch their shows.

Ace: Hey, hey, hey...I remember the story now. No, come on, Banksie, I was young and foolish then. No man, let’s find another story, serious...

Banks: Sorry, Ace, once I’ve started I can’t stop.


Peter: Sorry, Ace, Banks is on fire now.

Banks: Ja...we were holding an end of season party for the Chiefs players and Gibson Kente’s cast. The place was packed with beautiful ladies, soccer players, actors and businessmen. I had won two awards - one was 10 cases of beer from SAB and the other was the Viceroy Sportsman of the Month award, which included a case of Viceroy as a prize. So I provided most of the booze for the party. Actually, the party was in a house right next door to the shebeen that I told you about, remember Kopduik? 


Peter: Yes, of course.

Ace: Banksie, enough of this story...come.

Banks: Ha, know Ace and I each had girlfriends in Gibson Kente’s cast - beautiful girls. Now there was this Kaizer Chiefs player...ja, let me just mention his name, Smiley ‘Garrincha’ Leroke. 


Peter: Oh yes, Garrincha, he was nicknamed after the great Brazilian winger of the ‘50s and ‘60s. 

Banks: Yes, that’s the one.

Ace: You know what? We had made a stage in the house and the whole time, the actors and us Kaizer Chiefs players were each having turns on stage doing a show. You know, a song and dance. It was brilliant, do you remember, Banks? 

Banks: Yes, I do. Ja, it was very funny, but don’t try and distract me to change the subject. I was operating the music and Ace came up to me. He said that ‘Garrincha’, you know Smiley Leroke, was busy with his girlfriend. I’m talking about Ace’s girlfriend, not Smiley’s!

Ace: Ey.

Banks: I said, “What do you mean, busy?” And Ace said, “No, he won’t let me back in with my girlfriend.” I said, “Ag, Ace, go and take her away from Garrincha.” Five minutes later, Ace came back and said, “Banks, Garrincha says if I don’t go away, he’s going to beat me up.” 


Peter: Oh oh, trouble...booze and women spells trouble!

Ace: Ja, definitely, especially when you are young...

Banks: Ha, ha...because I was busy with the music and operating with my girlfriend at the same time, and I just wanted to get rid of Ace, I said, “Ace, gaan maak sy mond toe.”


Peter: And what happened?

Ace: No, nothing...

Banks: Hey, man, all hell broke lose...


Peter: Why? What happened?

Banks: Ace obviously lost his girl to Smiley ‘Garrincha’ Leroke and when a man loses his girl, he can lose his cool as well. Ace took a breadknife off the table and threatened Garrincha. 

Ace: I wasn’t going to do anything, I was just trying to scare him.

Banks: But Garrincha leapt forward as Ace was waving the breadknife and the knife split his whole lip open. Blood was pouring and squirting everyone, I mean it looked like Garrincha was vomiting blood!


Peter: Oh no!

Ace: I didn’t mean it, we were both drunk and he just jumped at me, the next second there was blood everywhere.

Banks: Ja, and you know how actors can be, they were screaming and shouting like you can’t believe. It was total chaos in the house. Garrincha went crazy with anger as well. Ace took one look at this scene, looked at me and nodded. That’s when I knew I had to get Ace out of there straight away.


Peter: Hell...some party...

Ace: Hey, man, I was only a youngster, I was 18, Garrincha was much older. But you know the craziest part was that early the next morning we all had to get into the same bus to drive down to Durban for the last game of the season.

Banks: Can you imagine, Ace and Smiley ‘Garrincha’ Leroke in the same bus for hours on the way to a game after what happened? 


Peter: What did you do, Ace? What did Kaizer and Ewert Nene say? 

Ace: I just sat there being quiet. I gave no answers. Kaizer and Ewert knew I think but they didn’t say anything. Garrincha had to keep quiet, his mouth was bandaged and stitched up. But he knew he was in the wrong...

Banks: Ha, ha...I am sure Garrincha will laugh about it now.

Ace: Well, I’ll remind him that it was all your fault, Banksie, ha, ha.

Banks: Youngsters...ha, ha. Okay, guys, take it easy. 

Peter and Ace: Just like Sunday morning.



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