In today’s tastiest, unhealthiest morsel of transfer silly season junk snack, Wayne Rooney is bound for Barcelona.
The British media claims that the Manchester United bulk forward is wanted by the Spanish champions, to add weight to a frontline which will boast a combination of petite wisp next season, in the form of Neymar and Lionel Messi.
According to The Guardian, a Barca ‘insider’ has been quoted as saying that "Rooney is precisely the type of attacker that would fit perfectly into the system" at the Camp Nou.
"His first touch, movement, control and vision are phenomenal and if he comes on the market then the club are certain to try to sign him," the unnamed source added.
Earlier this week, Arsenal legend Tony Adams warned Rooney to stay away from the Gunners, suggesting the striker would not "mentally" be able to "handle London".
If Rooney can't hack living in London. just how excatly is he meant to "handle" moving to another country altogether, never mind cosmopolitan, Catalan Barcelona?
Should Wazza leave the building at Old Trafford, United will reportedly move to replace him with Uruguayan ‘It’ man, Edinson Cavani.
Cavani is thought to be the face in Real Madrid’s heart-shaped locket, while Chelsea are said to have agreed a bumper deal to sign him.
But United manager David Moyes also considers Cavani his precious, according to the red tops, and will offer him even more money to join what is sure to be an intriguing Premier League title defence.
Meanwhile, across town, Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini will apparently console himself after losing out on Malaga starlet Isco to Real Madrid by raiding the Bernabeu for some defensive cover.
Pellegrini is said to want Madrid’s Portuguese wrecking ball Pepe. That’s right, Pepe.
That’s transfer silly season for you, and you can take it or leave it.
By: Jared Chaitowitz
Follow Jared on Twitter: @JaredSLinter